Masking is a term that describes when Autistic individuals consciously or unconsciously suppress their natural behaviours and aspects of themselves to fit in with societal norms. While it may help some navigate certain social environments, the long-term impacts of masking can be profound, especially for self-esteem and mental health.
What Does Masking Look Like?
Masking can take many forms. It might be forcing eye contact, mimicking body language, or suppressing stimming behaviours like hand-flapping or rocking. For some, it’s memorising scripts for conversations or hiding sensory sensitivities to avoid standing out. While these behaviours might make someone seem "more neurotypical," they often come at a significant personal cost.
For example, an Autistic person might avoid wearing headphones in a loud environment because they fear judgment, even though the noise is physically painful. Others might constantly rehearse conversations in their minds to appear socially adept. These strategies, though sometimes effective in the short term, can be exhausting over time, they can interfere with learning or paying attention to key information during a social interaction, and can also be a distraction from enjoying life’s experiences.
Why Do People Mask?
The pressure to conform is deeply ingrained in many environments. From schools to workplaces, societal expectations often prioritise conformity over individuality. Autistic individuals might mask themselves to avoid bullying, rejection, or misunderstanding. For others, masking feels like a survival tool—a way to navigate a world that doesn’t naturally accommodate their needs.
In some cases, masking starts early. Children may be encouraged to "sit still" or "act normal," learning to suppress their natural tendencies to meet adult expectations. Over time, these learned behaviours become second nature, making it harder for individuals to reconnect with their authentic selves.
The Emotional Toll
Masking is exhausting. It requires constant vigilance and effort, leaving individuals feeling drained and disconnected from their authentic selves. Over time, the stress of masking can lead to anxiety, depression, and even burnout. For some, the disconnect between their true self and their "masked" selves can cause an identity crisis, making it harder to embrace who they are.
A significant concern is that many Autistic individuals who mask frequently are often overlooked for diagnosis or support. Because their challenges are hidden behind the "mask," they might be perceived as "managing fine" when, in reality, they are struggling deeply.
Building Environments That Reduce the Need to Mask
Creating neuro-affirming spaces is key to reducing the pressure to mask. This starts with creating environments that celebrate neurodiversity and prioritise understanding over conformity. Encourage self-expression and validate differences instead of expecting everyone to fit into a narrow definition of "normal."
For example, classrooms can include sensory-friendly spaces where students feel comfortable stimming or taking breaks. Families can encourage flexible communication styles and recognise and celebrate each other’s differences. These small changes can have a profound impact on reducing the need for masking.
Encouraging Authenticity
Support Autistic individuals in embracing their true selves. This might involve educating peers and colleagues about autism, advocating for accommodations, or simply listening without judgment. When Autistic people feel accepted and understood, the need to mask diminishes.
Parents and caregivers play a crucial role here. By creating an environment of unconditional acceptance, they can help their children feel safe to be themselves. For instance, if a child needs to stim by flapping their hands, let them know it’s okay rather than encouraging them to hide it.
The Role of Allies
Parents, teachers, friends, and employers can all play a role in reducing masking. By showing empathy, offering flexibility, and advocating for inclusion, allies can help create a world where Autistic individuals feel safe to be themselves.
It’s also important to understand that unmasking is a journey. For someone who has spent years masking, learning to reconnect with their authentic self can take time and patience. Encouragement and support from allies can make all the difference, as well as psychological therapies can help too.
Moving Toward a More Inclusive Society
Reducing the need for masking isn’t just about improving the lives of autistic individuals—it’s about building a society that values authenticity and diversity. When we prioritise inclusion and understanding, we create a world where everyone feels safe to be their true selves.
Masking is a complex and deeply personal experience, but understanding its impact is the first step in developing environments where authenticity is celebrated and supported. By working together, we can ensure that no one has to hide who they are to feel accepted.
To learn how to create a neuro-affirming environment and family culture for your child that prevents their need to mask, please learn more about our Autism Parenting Program