Parent: How do I remain calm when I’ve given the kids a direction/instruction and they don’t take it in and do it and you end up repeating it….Getting frustrated!!!
Jackie Hall: Anger comes from how we perceive the event, not the event itself.
It is when we are thinking that something should be different, but the reality is, it is not. All stress is a conflict between belief (what I’m thinking) and reality (what is actually happening). It can also be a form of control – a way to get someone to do what you want them to do.
The first thing to do is bring your attention back from your thinking of how it should be different and accept that what is happening IS happening. When you accept the current moment, just as it is, you’re going to free your attention up for finding solutions.
Secondly, the reality is that kids often don’t always follow directions straight away. This is often not due to disrespect, but due to the fact that, in that moment, they have another priority.
Try to figure out what that priority is and why it’s important to them and then try to think of a way to shift their priority so that they WANT to listen and follow the instruction.
What leverage can you use to entice them to CHOOSE TO follow your direction? You can either use punishment or reward, or simply shift their attention to what’s in it for them, depending on which way you want to go, but it doesn’t have to be a fight. They just need to know what the conditions are of their choices and then they get to make their own decisions (which hopefully align with the one you want them to make, lol).